2010 NL West Preview

~~~~~NL WEST~~~~~

*Arizona Diamondbacks*
Strengths: Great mix of players who have shown lots of potential (Justin Upton), players I hear have lots of potential (Miguel Montero) and players who I used to hear had a lot of potential but nowadays would go undrafted in a 30 team fantasy league (Adam LaRoche).
Weaknesses: Brandon Webb starts the season on the disabled list and isn’t expected to join the team for a few months. Which means he’s on schedule to start making a positive contribution almost a year before the bullpen.
Deciding Factor: Will any member of the Arizona rotation get more strikeouts this year than Mark Reynolds?
Fun Fact: Unlike famous Red Sox player Bill Buckner, Arizona pitcher Billy Buckner does not have problems with balls going through his legs, as they’re all busy flying over his head. And the heads of the outfielders. And the fans. Wait, that douche got demoted? Screw that ****, this Fun Fact is staying.

BONUS WEAKNESS (Courtesy of Sir Chris): Brandon Webb is expected to spend the first several months of the season on the disabled list. So his pitches will start sinking about two months after his team’s playoff hopes.


*Colorado Rockies*
Strengths: For this distinctively Christian organization, that would be the power of Christ. And the power of Troy Tulowitzki, though some Colorado fans would assert that the previous statements are redundant.
Weaknesses: Due to beard-related paranoia, Todd Helton is not allowed to play basball within 100 yards of a school building.
Deciding Factor: Will the Rockies have a big publicity stunt where they allow blind kids to play right field instead of Brad Hawpe? It’d be great for public relations, and even better for their defense.
Fun Fact: I hear that if you smoke weed at higher altitudes, you get a lot higher, so you can get higher for cheaper. Which explains a lot about Colorado in general.

*Los Angeles Dodgers*
Strengths: Manny Ramirez and Andre Ethier’s offensive prowess can turn outs into hits, and doubles into homers.
Weaknesses: Manny Ramirez and Andre Ethier’s defensive prowess can turns outs into hits, and doubles into inside the park homers.
Deciding Factor: Who gets to be Joe Torre’s honorary Scott Proctor? I’m hoping its Scott Proctor. He’s making a comeback with the Braves, though if he knows what’s good for him he has a contract stipulation that he can not be traded to any team managed by Joe Torre.
Fun Fact: Matt Kemp is currently dating Rihanna. I would think she would date James Loney, because that guy never seems to hit for power.

*San Diego Padres*
Strengths: Padres baseball is a great cure for insomnia. I fell asleep just writing this.
Weaknesses: Despite the name, no relation to Carmen Sandiego.
Deciding Factor: When will we get the All Star Game at PETCO? That home run derby will be hilarious.
Fun Fact: The Padres could be a league average team this year, if that league is Little League in some country defined by baseball mediocrity, like Canada.

*San Francisco Giants*
Strengths: Joe West recently complained about the length of Red Sox / Yankees games, the usually high scoring affairs between two teams that play like every game is a playoff game. With the combination of the Giants’ pitching and offense, you can expect to be in and out of the stadium in under an hour for the average game as nobody scores any runs and nobody wants to stick around there any longer than they have to.
Weaknesses: I could put together a better lineup than this for under $100. Seriously guys, craigslist that ****.
Deciding Factor: Bengie Molina is the SLOW Molina brother. What the hell will the Giants do if he actually starts taking walks? Whoever bats behind him will be hitting into force outs off the right field fence.
Fun Fact: Current PECOTA projections show that by 2014, Tim Lincecum will be 50% hair by volume.

==Quick Links==
~~2010 Predictions~~
2010 AL East Preview
2010 AL Central Preview
2010 AL West Preview
2010 NL East Preview
2010 NL Central Preview
2010 NL West Preview

~~2009 Predictions~~
2009 AL East Preview
2009 AL Central Preview
2009 AL West Preview
2009 NL East Preview
2009 NL Central Preview
2009 NL West Preview