TEXAS RANGERS
-Kevin Millwood is 1-2 with a 2.10 ERA due to lack of run support, while Brandon McCarthy is 2-0 with a 4.76 ERA. The Texas offense is the deadbeat dad of baseball... it slugs a lot, is never there when you need it, but every once in a while he'll show up with random shit so he can keep his tax deduction.
+Ian Kinsler is hitting so well that his slugging looks like the Rangers' team ERA with a misplaced decimal
-Texas pitching is so bad that Kason Gabbard gave up a game winning hit when he wasn't even in the state.
+4 guys on this team have ERAs under 4.50,making this the best pitching staff in recent Texas history. Only 1 of them has double digit innings, but it'd be pretty rude to spit in the face of the team's history by pitching well over an extended period of time.
-Chris Davis has more Ks than a looped Klan marquee
-Credits to reader and Texas fan Dr_Football: (on Lindstrom blowing the save and giving up 7 runs in the 9th) "[All by himself?] Around these parts, that's our set up guy"
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That zinger at the end will double the traffic on the blog.
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